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This form a touchy feely sort:

Tell me why the difference in price between an 8G and 32G Ipod touch (other devices are available) is £72 (ie £3 per G), while the difference between a 32G and 64G is only £68 (£2.25 per G).



Provide common sense...

Let her move in?

Following a wee bit of silence we have had an enquiry.

Having been seeing my girlfriend for over 18 months, she has finally agreed to move in.  Do you fellows have any advice to ensure that we have a happy time together?

One pearl of wisdom on “Let her move in?”

  1. Consultant G Says:

    Love, and making sure that she never knows that you posted this query.

    Alcohol also helps.

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UberChav TV purchases

From a consumer

I have just ordered a new, overly large, uberchav tv.  I realise that it is this but feel that the price difference of £80 between the same size again and the obscenely large is worth it - maybe.  However it would appear that BoS Visa do not agree and blocked the transaction as it is “out of character”.  Having not used the card for over 4 months I would suggest that buying anything is out of character, but according to the lovely woman (and she was) from BoS Visa, “you don’t buy TVs very often”.  I was forced to agree with her.  Infact it has been over 10yrs.  Do they record the frequency of all these things or was the out of character the fact it is uberchav?

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Should I buy Recycled Office Paper

From one of our regulars.

Our office is doing a review of the paper it buys and it has been suggested that buying paper made from virgin fibre that is certified to ISO14001 and FSC is better than recycled paper.  Is this correct?

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Lyme Disease and the joy of tics

A question from the pub the other night

Following a fun bit of biking in the woods I had a shower and found 3 tics.  This is not uncommon.  I know I should twist them off using the wee tools and know that I should seek medical advice should a red ring forms round the bite but sure we can do more to prevent tics.  With my dog I treat it with a spot on which reduces the number of tics dramatically.  Surely they can develop a human version?

One pearl of wisdom on “Lyme Disease and the joy of tics”

  1. Consultant G Says:

    Common sense suggests that you should cover yourself up, and tuck items of clothing in to give the ticks less chance of getting to your skin. Consider wearing tigher cycling shorts or skin tight ‘tights’ to achiev this. Also, wear shorts that do not have a big split right up you crack.

    Flea and tick spot on for animales works by spreading via the fur. Humans do not generally have sufficient fur to make this a possibility, so you would have to rub all over all parts.

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Nominative Non-Determination

Noted by someone

I have noted that new housing schemes increasingly are themed with regards to road names and very commonly these themes are to do with plant names.  Surely if they are going to go down this route they have to justify it by putting these plants into gardens on these streets.  I have recently been down a Laburnum Rd without any Laburnums and know of a Red Wood Dr which has not a single Red Wood.

3 lacklustre pieces of inspiration on “Nominative Non-Determination”

  1. Consultant G Says:

    Long live Sequoia Heights.

    I have seen many named after birds. Perhaps these refer to the names of the species whose habitat was destroyed in the building of the houses.

  2. Consultant K Says:

    I like your plan there. All new developments should be forced to title themselves in memorial to what was there. So it could be “Old School Playing Field Road” or “Ex-Pleasant Green Space Drive” or “Former Prime Habitat Close”

  3. Consultant G Says:

    I think it may break down on brown field sites and in cities - ‘old carpet warehouse drive’, ‘petrol station forecourt way’ etc. Redevelopment of hospital buildings could be even worse - ‘Rue Morgue’ anyone ?

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Real or Good Honest Food

Noticed by one of our readers.

Dear Sirs.  Do you not think it is amazing that Pedigree Chum and Ginsters Pies have such a similar tag line?  One is good honest food while the other is real honest food.  Is this all coincidence or are these products more closely related than we think?

One pearl of wisdom on “Real or Good Honest Food”

  1. Consultant G Says:

    This is an issue of scale - they are more similar than say, a rock and a pastie as they both contain carbohydrate, protien etc. However, beyond that perjhaps they share an advertising company (and one without much originallity at that), rather than anything more sinister.

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We are experts in all matters of life. You may consult us on any topic. On some matters, that we consider trivial or uninteresting, we may provide a short, even terse response to your query; in others, where the fancy takes us, we may pontificate at length providing an extensive discussion of the issue from which we shall draw appropriate conclusions. The choice is ours, after all, we know best.

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