Domestic Wind Turbines

A rural living reader asks

I live in a village and have a reasonable sized garden and am considering getting a wind turbine.  What issues should I consider other than my neighbours?

2 lacklustre pieces of inspiration on “Domestic Wind Turbines”

  1. Agent B Says:

    What is “reasonable sized?” Do you, for instance, have a woodland walk?

  2. Consultant K Says:

    I think “Agent B” has a very valid point on this one. Domestic wind turbines are defined as anything upto 500KW which is actually something very very large! But first let us address the basics! Wind Turbines will generate energy but in reality the first thing you should be considering how much energy you are using currently that you don’t have to (switching off, insulation and the like) as this is far better use of money!

    Now turbines come in all shapes and sizes and to give specific advice is impossible without looking at the site, considering the average speed, location of nearest substation and how much you can afford to spend. Size is important as the larger the turbine is, the quicker the payback is likely to be (as a general rule). Anything less than 1KW is unlikely to pay back in its lifetime and so unless you are off mains is a waste of money. It is about the 5KW mark that payback becomes reasonable and 15KW when you can expect payback in 5 or less years (assuming you are in it for the money). Now I am sure the google ads round here will give you a range of people to talk to but based on the return on investment figures I would definitely make sure Hannevind and Vergnet turbines are considered (this is based on standard figures for cost of turbine vs power curve). But as I said at the start, it is very site specific and so get talking to experts!

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Broken Hair Clippers

We have to ask why folk ask - but they do.

I have owned a pair of hair clippers for over 15years now but sadly they have now come to the end of their life.  In this time I have cut many folks hair for them and earned a pint here and there.  How should I fund a replacement pair and how should I dispose of the old pair?  Thank you

One pearl of wisdom on “Broken Hair Clippers”

  1. Consultant G Says:

    Dispose of them appropriately. If electrical you cannot put them in landfill. I suspect consultant K will be able to offer a load of impartial advice on this
    As for funding the new pair. just buy them with money. The grateful masses may buy you more pints in the future to make up this value. It is worth it.

    Busy clippers, hair dresser on fire…..

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Ban on Branding

Noticed in the news

It is to be made illegal to brand Exmoor ponies in Scotland.  As none are wild in Scotland surely this is just creating a law for no reason?

One pearl of wisdom on “Ban on Branding”

  1. Consultant K Says:

    2 reasons for the above. 1. Some animals are held in Scotland which are branded (just none of them wild) and 2. The Scottish govt likes to see its influence being greater than it is.

    Next thing you know they will be looking to ban ear tagging!

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Wedding Planning

For someone looking at an outdoor wedding.

I am planning a wedding for late spring and am looking to ensure I have covered all the potential issues that may come from an outdoor wedding, on a beach in Scotland.  What eventualities should I cover off and what colour of wellingtons should you wear with a kilt?

One pearl of wisdom on “Wedding Planning”

  1. Consultant G Says:

    Common sense and getting married eh ! We shall skip all that and answer the question. You will need to think about tide times if you are on a beach. As for weather you could have problems there as it is an unknown this far in advance. Check the historical records for the day of choice to see what it is liable to be. Take umbrellas, but also have gore tex available (free plug) in case of wind. Also, related to the tide state, check as to whether the tide will be turning during the event as you may get a wee shower on the turn of the tide. Next are animal pests – you’ll not have any problems with midges, but the local neds and curious old biddies and crones may be an annoyance. Perhaps you could get a local policeman to attend, just in case.

    Wellies and kilts are not recommended. Try just bare feet instead.

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Snow Tyres

From the snow bound Central Belt of Scotland

We are currently going through a prolonged cold period and have significant snow on the roads especially the minor ones which are ungritted.  We are advised that travel conditions on roads are treacherous and not to travel but often the roads are not that bad.  Should we follow these warnings and not travel, invest in snow tyres, buy snow chains or just travel with hope?

One pearl of wisdom on “Snow Tyres”

  1. Consultant C Says:

    It’s best just to stay at home with a nice mug of something warm. Put your feet up in front of the fire or go outside and play in the snow. Don’t drive if you can help it - it’s naughty.

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Crows and Collective Noun

Wondering if there is scaling for collective nouns

It is accepted that the collective noun for crows is a murder.  If it is a small group, is it just a traffic offence of crows?  or for large groups is it a massacre?

5 lacklustre pieces of inspiration on “Crows and Collective Noun”

  1. Consultant G Says:

    No, it is not. Go away and stop wasting our time. This has nothing to do with common sense. Why not count the things too, instead of this vague large number and small group stuff. And I bet they are not even crows - they are more likely to be rooks or jackdaws.

  2. Consultant C Says:

    Quite right G, crows hang out in pairs or on their own mostly. If they’re flocking, more than likely be another corvid.

  3. Counting Crows Says:

    So if crows don’t hang around together then why is there a collective noun for them?

  4. Consultant C Says:

    It was coined by a misguided fool.

  5. Consultant G Says:

    And has been perpetuated by similar.

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Is everything on ebay stolen?

A concerned purchaser asks

I am considering purchasing an item on ebay. It is being sold by Cash Converters in Liverpool with minimal information concerning the provenance and history of the item. How likely is it to be stolen? If it is stolen do I have any recourse?

One pearl of wisdom on “Is everything on ebay stolen?”

  1. Consultant K Says:

    The honest answer is “fairly”. If it is a mobile phone or similar it is less likely due to coding and similar but for other electrical I would suggest fairly is a fair summary. I believe it is a fairly common way for thieves to be caught as cash converters, despite their name, do need a fair amount of proof of who you are before handing over the cold cash. Police then review what is held by CC and go knocking on doors.

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A dodo. Well known for its common sense.

About us

We are experts in all matters of life. You may consult us on any topic. On some matters, that we consider trivial or uninteresting, we may provide a short, even terse response to your query; in others, where the fancy takes us, we may pontificate at length providing an extensive discussion of the issue from which we shall draw appropriate conclusions. The choice is ours, after all, we know best.

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