Archive for October, 2005

Fish Fun. Fair?

A fish lover asks

recently while cleaning out my fish one of them managed to get into the hose which I was using to drain the tank. After capturing it and returning it to the tank it immediately went back into the tube for another ride back into the waste bucket. Am I not providing enough entertainment, is my fish suicidal or just thick?

2 lacklustre pieces of inspiration on “Fish Fun. Fair?”

  1. Consultant G Says:

    First, are you sure it is not a Candiru fish ?
    Perhaps you need to simply put a bit of fine mecsh over the end of the suction hose to prevent this happening in future.

  2. a disney lover Says:

    I think it’s been watching too much Finding Nemo myself

Provide common sense...

time to kill

Tourist to be

I have 5 days to kill in Bueno Aires and want to make sure I make the most of it. What would be the most sensible thing to do with my time. See the city, go to the beach or go to the pampas?

4 lacklustre pieces of inspiration on “time to kill”

  1. Anonymous Says:

    Another All-Star Blogging Site Opens
    ZDNet : “A group of bloggers including mainstream journalists from outlets such as CNBC, The Nation and The New York Times are banding together to strike a blow at established media and pick up some ad dollars …
    What’s interesting, is that I posted a link to your blog only once from my devicenet rfid blog and found that many of my rfid readers were asking for the URL after I took it down. I guess they do have things in common with your readers.

  2. Consultant G Says:

    Well, I’d leave the city and head to the country where the interesting features are. If you stay in the city, you may end up like anonymous below and become fixated on money. Before going though, have a look at http://www.worldtravelwatch.com/ which is a handy web site. Remember - cities smell worse then penguins

  3. fellow traveller Says:

    I found this page http://www.buenosaires.gov.ar/areas/turismo/home/ to be fairly useful…..
    By the way what’s the anonymous post about? I don’t get it!

  4. Anonymous Says:

    How about learning the Argentinian Tango? Then you could impress lots of people on your return.

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Penguins as pets?

A youthful animal lover from the United States asks

Can I keep a penguin in the bath?

2 lacklustre pieces of inspiration on “Penguins as pets?”

  1. Consultant C Says:

    No. No matter how endearing penguins may appear, they do not make good pets. They are not cuddly, but extremely muscular and require a huge pool to exercise in; a bathtub would not be sufficient. Their flippers and beak can easily cause injury to anyone handling them. Penguins smell really very bad; bad enough to offend you, your friends, relatives and neighbours. Perhaps consider a more conventional pet such as goldfish.

    Websites such as http://www.penguinwarehouse.com that purport to sell penguins as pets are amusing hoaxes.

  2. Consultant K Says:

    I agree with C about the joys of penguins (best from a distance). Maybe you want to consider adopting. http://www.falklandsconservation.com will allow you to adopt a king penguin

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Work like an Italian?

Returning from a recent trip the question has to be asked…..

should the UK start to work in the style of the Italians? They refuse to start work before 9 and even after this tardie time, have to make sure they have had a coffee, a chat and also a preen. Lunch is a 1 1/2hr affair and the end of the day is 6 (if not earlier on a friday). Are we in the UK missing a trick?

2 lacklustre pieces of inspiration on “Work like an Italian?”

  1. sleepy Says:

    hmmm well, I can’t say that I work any harder than the Italians, but you didn’t seem to mention the siestas, which I believe should be made mandatory over here.

  2. Consultant G Says:

    Well, it is a difficult one, and the hours are not as simple as you say they are - many shops stay open until 7:30 in the evening. However, the italians also like to extend their time away from work by having an incredible number of strikes (see http://www.worldtravelwatch.com/ for travel related strike days).The real issue is whether the UK economy could be sustained at its current level if we adopted this kind of working practice. Incredibly, in 2004, the UK GDP was only slightly greater than in Italy ($ 1,782,000,000,000 vs $ 1,609,000,000,000), despite having similar populations (60,441,457 vs 58,103,033).
    However, does the UK really want to become like italy, which is the most corrupt ‘western’ european country(http://ww1.transparency.org/cpi/2005/cpi2005_infocus.html)

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What should I eat?

This from a concerned traveller

It’s a little early for lunch, yet I must commence a journey to Europe. I am flying on a no-frills airline that does not provide complimentary sandwiches. I detest paying for overpriced airline and airport food, and have little food in the house. What should I do?

2 lacklustre pieces of inspiration on “What should I eat?”

  1. Consultant K Says:

    Make some food for your travel companions also

  2. Consultant G Says:

    A tricky one. The option is to take your own food, but remember egg or tuna sandwiches may not be a good choice in an enclosed plane cabin. Shame it is within Europe, because in other places you could nip outside the airport and get some great food from street stalls, (but avoid those dodgy meat samosas before a flight). I would suggest a couple of Mars bars, and a couple of bananas and oranges. You can always snack to your hearts content on Italian pastry products (if Italy is perchance your destination) with your coffee in the morning.

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Should I stay or should I go

An edinburgh city dweller asks

I currently live in the centre of the city and have the opportunity to move north up to fife. This will create many issues but also solve many more. In your views would it be common sense to move?

One pearl of wisdom on “Should I stay or should I go”

  1. Consultant G Says:

    City boy,

    An interesting question, but since you do not indicate the importance of the issues in this clash on whether you should stay, or go now, it is difficult to advise. However, if it is an equally weighted thing, I would suggest you should move, because the idea of leaving is obviously playing on your mind, and if you did not want to, you would not be considering it. Common sense dictates you ask yourself a few questions, such as where will i be happier, and which will make all aspects of my life better, but also considering the financial costs - would the prefered option be too expensive. In the end, you might want to toss a coin, and if you feel the answer is wrong, then you know what to do.

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A rubbish question


I live on a very windy street, and my wheelie bin keeps
being blown over at night. I have tried putting bricks in the base, but the
council have complained that they break theri machines. Have you any suggestions
?

3 lacklustre pieces of inspiration on “A rubbish question”

  1. Consultant K Says:

    May I suggest that you recycle more. Now I hope you are already recycling but the more waste you recycle, the less waste that will go into your wheelie bin and the lower the centre of gravity.

    Should you wish to keep going the way you are, you may want to consider adding weight to the bottom that will not come out when emptied - wood and screws through the side (make sure they have large heads so as to prevent them ripping through the plastic

  2. Consultant G Says:

    This may become more of a problem with the increase in recycling buckets that the council provides. Distributing the paper, plastic glass, tins and garden waste into different tubs will result in them being lighter, so while recycling is, obviously, the way ahead, it may contribute to the problem, rather than solve it. However, securing weights may be one solution. You may also want to consider only putting the material out when the bucket is heavy enough to stay steady in the winds.

  3. consultant c Says:

    Magnets ! Put a big magnet in the bottom of the bin, and another magnet (poles reveresed) in the ground.

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We are experts in all matters of life. You may consult us on any topic. On some matters, that we consider trivial or uninteresting, we may provide a short, even terse response to your query; in others, where the fancy takes us, we may pontificate at length providing an extensive discussion of the issue from which we shall draw appropriate conclusions. The choice is ours, after all, we know best.

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