Archive for May, 2006
Bunch of Bankers
A customer asks
Having finally succeeded in getting a cheque from my bank to close my joint account with my ex-partner (it has taken 18months) I decided to pay the small cheque into my own account. I have just had it returned as it is payable to a “joint account”. I have now tried to cash the cheque at the bank but require to have both parties signatures before I can get it so I decided to tear it up. When I went to do this the person in the bank explained that the account cannot be fully closed until that cheque is cashed. Can I have some advice please?
3 lacklustre pieces of inspiration on “Bunch of Bankers”
Provide common sense...
Common Sense?
A 5 year old asks
why does your car not top up its washer bottle from the rain that falls on the car?
3 lacklustre pieces of inspiration on “Common Sense?”
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Consultant K Says:
May 17th, 2006 at 10:59 amI can see a number of issues but also can see a lot of potential.
Grit - the whole point of windscreen washers is to remove this so you would have to ensure that water was filtered before being added to the washer bottle.
Freezing - you would have to somehow dose the incoming water with antifreeze to ensure that you didn’t have an issue. I am sure with modern cars this would be possible and the car could dose the water to appropriate levels depending on the season.
Biological activity - should a car not be being used, as the water is coming off the road there is an increased chance that algae/bacteria could thrive in the washerbottle. The dosing system would have to ensure that biological activity is controlled also.I think you could be onto a winner. Make sure you get it patented!
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May 23rd, 2006 at 10:46 amMy learned freind has covered all of my points.
Additionally, the grit may clog up both the inflow into the resevoir and the jets where it is skooshed onto the windscreen. -
July 31st, 2006 at 5:48 amHere are some links that I believe will be interested
Provide common sense...
Bearing all
This from a sleepy bear
I want to build up sufficient fat reserves to hibernate through the winter in Canada. In order to build up sufficient reserves for, say, 100 days of hiberation, how many Mars Bars would I need to eat ?
2 lacklustre pieces of inspiration on “Bearing all”
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May 10th, 2006 at 10:46 amI make the assumption that your are a Brown Bear and that you exhibit average behaviour.
If you are male you will require 3254 Mars Bars for 100 days, if you are a female 2268. This may not meet all your nutritional requirements however, and you are advised to follow a balanced diet.
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May 10th, 2006 at 11:32 amThanks,
I am indeed a brown bear. Now, how many ml of low fat yougurt would I need ?
Provide common sense...
Drinking in the light
This from a deep drinker
I have an antique drinks cabinet, in which I store a collection of spirits totaling 26 bottles. In order to help locate the bottle I want, I am thinking of installing a lighting system,. In keeping with the antique nature of the piece, I was wondering about using a selection of candles which I light when entertaining guests. As obviously refined, learned gents, I would value your advice on this.
2 lacklustre pieces of inspiration on “Drinking in the light”
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May 3rd, 2006 at 4:48 pmAs an unrefined lassy I would say that candles sound like a pretty unsafe idea. Perhaps you could arrange them in alphabetical and age order to help your problem, your guests would then be amazed by your display skills.
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May 4th, 2006 at 9:08 amAs the “unrefined lassy” says I would be slightly nervous about candles, enclosed spaces, antique furniture and whisky.
If you wish to persist may I suggest that the following precautions are taken.
1. That the candles have a clear space above them of at least 50cm to prevent sooting of the furniture - or even burning
2. That the precious bottles are not warmed by the candle - about 10cm gapOn another point, if it is not rude, the fact that you have this enormous collection either suggests a lack of friends or an overly large bank balance. If it is the latter I would happily become your friend.
May 26th, 2006 at 11:10 am
More proof that banks do not actually live in the real world. I find though that sitting down and telling banks what you want to do, rather than letting them tell you what they want you to do often works. Often it is possible to do a whole range of things that the teller on the desk does not know are possible.
You could try drawing the money out over the counter using your card. You do not need both individuals present to do that.
May 26th, 2006 at 11:22 am
Unfortunately one of the things I had to do to try to close the account was to hand in my card and also they have suspended the internet banking.
The sum is £0.43 so I am not overly concerned just slightly annoyed to monthly get a statement
May 26th, 2006 at 11:40 am
So it is in fact common sene on the banks behalf just to give you 43 pence as there is no way the account will ever make money for them.
I still think going to a branch, speaking to the teller and then the manager may work best.