Archive for October, 2006
Would it be so nice
A public holidayer asks
Do public holidays make sense ? Surely it makes more sense to do as you please,
rather than have the days that you can take off work dictated by some antiquates
social reason. I would rather holidays on days when it is sunny, and there is no
one else in the hills. If we did away with centrally organised holidays we would
be able to go to the bank and go shopping on days when they are not closed too.
Thus, why do we have public and bank holidays ?
8 lacklustre pieces of inspiration on “Would it be so nice”
Provide common sense...
Click through advertising
The consultancy asks
Our site is paid for thanks to click through advertising and it would appear to be the only way for most sites to make money. In any other walk of life other than the internet would we accept the intrusion that this causes?
7 lacklustre pieces of inspiration on “Click through advertising”
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Consultant K Says:
October 31st, 2006 at 9:49 amJust of note. The adverts we have out in the real world has so far been shown to over 1800 people and to date not a single person has clicked through to the site. Two people have seen the advert and circumvented the advert to find the site thus saving us 4p - well done to them.
Common sense would be to ignore the adverts (except on our site ofcourse) as they are just trying to divert your attention from where you want to be!
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October 31st, 2006 at 1:53 pmOn the subject of advertising, it appears we have a click ad for disasters:
Disaster Kit
Disaster Kit Info. Fast & EasyI do not think we should have adverts for disasters on a coomon sense web site.
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October 31st, 2006 at 2:43 pmyou don’t know the half of it mate - you is getting a wide array of topics featuring on yer google-ads - there’s a great one on just now all about finding god and the 4 spiritual laws and stuff - i signed straight up!!
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October 31st, 2006 at 3:20 pmClarisse,
There is a story about turning 5 fish (species unknown) into 5000000 odd fish - your going to love that one.
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October 31st, 2006 at 3:28 pmI’ll stick with the water into wine one. Which is reasonably easy if you water a grape plant
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October 31st, 2006 at 5:01 pmThe religious theme continues - another cracking ad for rosaries on yer google-ads check out http://www.bvrosaries.com/
i want one!
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October 31st, 2006 at 5:12 pmSome of the ads are getting a bit wacky. International charities ? adopt a child ? I do wonder how well googles word matching really works.
Still, not complaining if they make the site break even.
Provide common sense...
Interesting Idea
From the BBC news website
Does the common sense consultancy think (along with the BBC) that prostitution is a good way to stop kerb crawling?
One pearl of wisdom on “Interesting Idea”
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October 31st, 2006 at 9:41 amProstitution as we are told so often is the oldest profession. If anyone ever thinks that we will remove the need for it they are mistaken therefore we should bring it into regulated places.
I suppose if it were licensed you would not only be able to ensure that medical checks and similar are carried out you could also rate the quality of what you were to get. Time Out could have whole new section.
Provide common sense...
Dietary problems & plumbing
A person with some issues asks
I was in the middle of a slightly loose evacuation, then sneezed half way through - it came out like a fire hose and is now siting in a unflushable consolidated lump at the bottom of the lavatory.How should I best proceed?
6 lacklustre pieces of inspiration on “Dietary problems & plumbing”
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October 27th, 2006 at 2:58 pmI would be inclined to abandon the lav for a couple of months - by the time you get back I’m sure it will have disintegrated and can therefore be successfully flushed away.
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October 27th, 2006 at 3:18 pmBuy a loo brush and some disinfectant, and give it a good scrub. Some people make me despair sometimes.
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October 27th, 2006 at 10:49 pmwith caution, I’d advise!!
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October 28th, 2006 at 7:58 pmUse an egg whisk to churn the said matter into flushable lumps then never make meringues ever ever again.
Make sure you take a photo first for posterior posterity.
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October 29th, 2006 at 11:37 amI think it is time you started your own log log or maybe even a blog log
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October 30th, 2006 at 3:15 pmand if you are going to follow abandon your toilet for a month or two I would suggest pouring oil on the water to seal the odours in.
Provide common sense...
Parking emmisions
A curious person asks:
Is it common sense to be charged for your parking according to the type of vehicle (based on emissions) you own?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6082690.stm
One pearl of wisdom on “Parking emmisions”
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October 30th, 2006 at 10:22 amProbably not as it is unlikely to affect driving habits. While some owners do need these vehicles, and should not be persecuted further, the majority do not nee them. These individuals do not respond to sense and reasoning as most individuals do, and increasing parking changes will have little impact on their limited intelligence.
Provide common sense...
GOLF??!!??
Another short question from the land of Guinness
Is golf common sense?
4 lacklustre pieces of inspiration on “GOLF??!!??”
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October 27th, 2006 at 8:08 amNo
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October 27th, 2006 at 9:27 amI think there is a problem with the question again. In what way does the customer want to know whether golf is common sense - the way to hit the ball, the playing the game, the objectives of the game. More information please.
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October 27th, 2006 at 10:41 ameverything to do with golf - the whole thing - smacking a stoopid white ball around with different bits of metal and trying to get it into a hole, wearing plus fours, spiky shoos, tiger woods, media constantly blawing on about golf - is any of it common sense? I suspect anonymous has already given us the answer!!
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October 27th, 2006 at 10:54 amPlaying golf is a distraction behaviour which avoids facing real and pressing issues and therefore doing something full and proper with your life. Similar behaviours are
exessive alchohol consumption and posting futile messages on a website.Whether it is common sense to play golf will depend on your individual circumstances. If your life is complete and golf brings you peace, love and happiness, then of course it is common sense; if you are merely putting off a task then the answer will depend on the nature of that task.
I find golf courses rather sterile environments and would recommend a gentle coastal or forest walk in preference to a game of golf. Revelling in the natural world is never a waste of time.
Provide common sense...
Violence in animals
Concerned of London wonders.
Programmes like Autumn watch have glorified violence to a whole new level and it would seem that animals are copying the antics that were seen thinking that this is normal behaviour. Can we have a new certification scheme for TV and film that states it is not suitable for animals. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/6083468.stm
5 lacklustre pieces of inspiration on “Violence in animals”
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October 25th, 2006 at 4:46 pmNo. Animals eat other animals. Get over it.
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October 26th, 2006 at 10:47 amindeed - sure, if it had taken a live fish, it too would have been wriggling and squirming all the way down - thats showbusiness kevin!
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October 26th, 2006 at 10:49 ammind you, what would have been the outcome if it had taken a small child? International condemnation of pelicans everywhere! Shoot the vermin!
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October 26th, 2006 at 11:10 amAs a pelican, I would like to make it clear that we never, ever eat children. They are simply too big to swallow, and taste bad (I am told).
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October 26th, 2006 at 4:24 pmso would you be putting the anus in pelecanus then? Just askin like!
October 31st, 2006 at 5:03 pm
it makes much more sense to do as you please which is why being self employed is soooooo great! But do shops really ever close these days? Banks do, but they is terrible institutions anyway, and are probably cause less frustration when they are closed!
October 31st, 2006 at 5:09 pm
Public Holidays are great because you can choose not to take them and take them at a later date when other folk are not holidaying. On the other hand I do go with the crowd and do take New Year and Christmas and it is good for that. Yes we should have choice as to whether we take these days or not but it is no bad thing to be forced to take a day off!
October 31st, 2006 at 5:23 pm
Ah, but we never have a day off as common sense consultants. We always need to be finding common sense solutions.
November 1st, 2006 at 12:25 am
As a self-employed individual I do not benefit from any paid hoildays, public or otherwise. However, the flip side is that I am able to take days of leisure on which ever days I please.
This November I shall be celebrating the 7th, which is the day of the last public hanging in England. The 12th, which I’m sure you all know as the day that Robert Scott’s remains were discovered in Antartica. The 17th, the day in 1970 when the first page 3 girl appeared in The Sun. And of course how could I not celebrate the 19th, the day in 1969 that Pele scored his 1000th goal.
December hold’s such personal holidays as First Lethal Injection In The USA Day on the 8th, Sound Barrier Broken Day on the 18th, and of course the 25th, Gorbachev Resigns Day.
A fairly arbitrary choice of hoildays, admittedly, Yet perhaps no more so than the ones our government decides for us. And, besides, we’ll get some interesting google ads now.
November 1st, 2006 at 12:01 pm
How do you know it was Pele’s 1000th goal? I must be close to 1000 goals now and I am a Dodo. Please be more specific!
November 1st, 2006 at 7:36 pm
On the 19th of November 1969, Pele scored his 1000th professional goal. Afterwards he probably said “Woo Hoo, 1000 goals in the bag. Mine’s a pint!”
If you are indeed a dodo I can appreciate how you find this a difficult fact to grasp. If you are not then I’m uncertain how much clarity you need to absorb this rather straightforward statement.
November 7th, 2006 at 5:46 pm
Common sense suggests that this is not actually a dodo.
Firstly dodos are apparently extinct thus unable to be present in modern times to contribute to internet blogs.
Secondly, dodos lived on the island of Mauritius. They would have originally spoken some local language, graduating to French Creole following colonisation. The chance of a dodo being able to type in fluent English is clearly absurd.
November 8th, 2006 at 12:23 pm
look! All I was doing is pointing out that you had not put the world “professional” into the first version of 1000th goal.
Anyway, who is to say what language I can type, speak or whatever. Also extinct is no longer for ever. My mate the woolly mammoth will be back with us in the next 20yrs and I doubt I will be far behind.