Archive for December, 2006
a festive question!
Ms Scrooge asks
Going away for Christmas and New Year or staying at home? Travel delays and no bread sauce vs. family arguments and crap TV. What do the common sense consultants reckon?
2 lacklustre pieces of inspiration on “a festive question!”
Provide common sense...
Jawless Wonder
A trophy hunter wonders
I have come by the jaw of a sperm whale and was wondering if you could suggest a use or two for it. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/help/3681938.stm
5 lacklustre pieces of inspiration on “Jawless Wonder”
-
Gymnosperm Says:
December 13th, 2006 at 2:26 pmAttaching it to a sperm whale perhaps ?
-
December 14th, 2006 at 12:10 pmI keep my spare large whale part next to my garden pond (photo available on request).
It makes a great talking point. -
December 21st, 2006 at 2:45 amScrimshaw was popular in the past, and still to some extent. You could probably make a buck or two if you’re good.
-
December 21st, 2006 at 9:00 amwell this is more of an informal chit chat than answers to my question! Saw, garden rake, coat hook? These are the things I was hoping for. Call yourselves common sense consultants, I call it old granny chit chat.
-
December 21st, 2006 at 11:45 amYou asked for suggested uses and we have provided three for you. Using a sperm whale jaw as a saw, a garden rake or a coat hook are not really common sense uses are they now. If you wanted silly answers then try a silly ideas consultancy instead of us. We are proud to have our feet firmly in the ground.
Provide common sense...
Oh bad people!
A question on religion.
what is wrong with taking the piss out of it. Evidently some folk are saying it is wrong to take the piss out of god and stuff. Surely the whole point of faith is to believe in the truth therefore a joke at gods expense should be like water off a ducks back, after all not all the Irish are thick!
One pearl of wisdom on “Oh bad people!”
-
December 12th, 2006 at 7:06 pmLets be honest - religion is not common sense as I think has been pointed out before. However, if you do not expect folk to be offended by jokes featuring pagan icons, such as that shown, then why do you find them funny ?
Provide common sense...
Its party time
A seasonal queary from one of our customers:
This is the season of office Christmas parties. I’m hoping for some common sense advice about these events, such as whether it is really a good use of time to attend, and, given the apparent widespread cynicism about these events, why indeed we have them each year ?
5 lacklustre pieces of inspiration on “Its party time”
-
December 11th, 2006 at 4:34 pmPretty awful concept really. Especially so if you work in a dull place with dull people. If you work in a nice place with nice people, life is a constant party, so there is no need then either.
-
December 11th, 2006 at 6:44 pmoffice parties eh? Best highlight i’ve experienced was seeing the normally boring, quiet and hyper dull safety officer get tanked up and then try to whisk the tablecloth off a table crammed with drinks - like they do on the magic shows. What a feckin disaster - everything went flying - truly hilarious! And of course we had the slightly more obvious gag of some nutjob dropping his breeks for the laydeez on the bus on the way home too. All good fun!
-
December 12th, 2006 at 10:27 amHmm, then again, you did work in an office of dull folk
-
December 12th, 2006 at 11:49 amwe thought about having a party where we came as clients but then thought the better of it as they may get photos! Got to say I have pleasant memories of Xmas parties for the most part though I do remember one at school where I broke someones arm while dancing
-
December 12th, 2006 at 1:18 pmI once broke someones nose playing football - do I get a prize ?
Provide common sense...
Hair today
We want to know
What is the common sense position on men with long, mop top hair ?
4 lacklustre pieces of inspiration on “Hair today”
-
December 5th, 2006 at 11:08 amHair, especially at this time of year, is very useful for keeping your head warm. There is the fashion consideration which is a hard one to explain. tufting to the front is good but not to the back - especially if the top is short. Also long back and sides and short on top is also a no no. Also you do need a wee bit of a curl to pull the look off, so for those with straight hair a perm is recommended.
-
December 5th, 2006 at 6:43 pmremember kids - say no to mullets!
-
December 5th, 2006 at 6:45 pmfor best results get yer mate to cut your fringe off in a pub using the scissors on a swiss army knife - to improve the look have a few pints first (and some more afterwards!)
-
December 7th, 2006 at 12:56 pmAh yes, the effects of a few pints. Perhaps we can find a nice pub (ie the one used in the oscar nominated sober biologist video) and try this suggestion, using the artistic skills of Consultant M, and my fringe. Shame Consultant K is busy tonight or we could try it twice.
Hair cuts at 8:30 then.
December 21st, 2006 at 4:42 pm
Here is the problem with common sense - there is no definitive answer. Common sense suggests that in many ways, having the majority of the population of a country taking the same couple of days holiday is really not common sense. Even less so if the day is in the middle of winter when roads are icy, airports closed and colds rife. Add to this stress of travel the added stress of family get togethers (you can choose your friends but not your relatives etc), it does suggest that it is a bad idea.
However, it is also sense that everyone is off together so that you can do things together with family and friends.
Perhaps the problem is christmas creep, which sees the pressure to enjoy yerself, drink too much etc etc begin in November. The overall most sensible solution is probably to have it as an option, with festivities beginning on the 24th December at the earliest, and ending on the 26th. The main celebration should be for the New Year, which makes so much more sense than celebrating a dubious birth of a fictional individual. New Year marks so more, has more meaning, lasts one day, and does not involve presents.
In the mean time, remember you are an individualy, and do what pleases you most. If we all did that, this time of year may be more fun.
December 22nd, 2006 at 4:24 pm
pppppppppaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrty