Archive for August, 2008

Internet maps vs conventional mapping

An concerned map user asks

There has been a great deal of discussion in the media regarding internet maps and more conventional mapping products. Now I’m confused; which map should I use to go for a walk?

One pearl of wisdom on “Internet maps vs conventional mapping”

  1. Consultant G Says:

    Use your feet to go for a walk - a map can only help you find your way. That said, unless you have a small portable device for accessing the internet remotely, you need a conventional paper map. You may be able to save the map onto a hand held device (so no internet connection needed) such as i phone or GPS, but you still need the power to use it. Thus, for safety, always take a paper map and compass with you if you are going for a long walk in remote areas. In less remote areas a paper map is probably preferred, but even if you have a hand held device, then take a paper map as a back up.

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Climate change and leaping salmon

An observer of fish wonders

During a recent visit to the Hermitage, near Dunkeld, I was privileged to watch large numbers of salmon attempting to leap up a powerful waterfall. Needless to say, after the unseasonal volume of rain the United Kingdom has received recently, the river was in spate. 

Some salmon leapt skillfully and placed themselves temporarily into in a higher pool before being rapidly washed out by the voluminous current. As far as I could tell, no salmon got to the top of the waterfall, and the number that leapt head first into a rock was stunning (that has to hurt!).

Is the elevated river a consequence of climate change? If high rainfall is more prevalent, will the salmon ever spawn again? Or is this simply the knee-jerk reaction of a well meaning but ignorant observer? 

One pearl of wisdom on “Climate change and leaping salmon”

  1. A good grouse Says:

    Potentially Spurious Press Release

    Climate change is the largest threat to the UKs wildlife. Failure to reduce carbon emissions will have unimaginable impacts upon our bird populations. Already many species are shifting their ranges, or changing behaviour. In addition to birds breeding earlier, many species are changing their feeding habits. For example, the recent flooding, a direct consequence of climate change, has meant the normal food of many of these species, such as lush vegetation just below the water surface, is now well beyond the reach of their normal feeding patterns. Instead, ducks that rely on this food are now diving from a good 1.5 m above the water surface in the style of the gannet in order to be able to reach the food they depend on - a desperate measures to avoid starvation considering the bird is not morphologically or physiologically designed for this behaviour.

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Drain on resources

From someone with self proclaimed common sense

I do not need you consultants to advise me on this one. To councils, businesses and home owners - keep your drains and down flows clear and unblocked so that when it rains you do not get flooding events. What has prompted this statement of the bleeding obvious - nothing more than noting the number of gutters flooded and premises with water pouring from roofs or onto the roads over the past few weeks. Get it sorted thickos !

2 lacklustre pieces of inspiration on “Drain on resources”

  1. Consultant C Says:

    Quite so.

    Also, don’t build on, or otherwise interfere with flood plains; allow watercourses space for expansion when it rains copiously.

  2. A good grouse Says:

    Quite so - unusual events can and do happen, so be careful if buy a house within 6 m of a small burn as it may change to become a raging torrent many time the original volume.

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High and dry

From an urbanite

Is it common sense to use a golf umbrella in an urban situation, or should they be restricted to the tees and greens?

9 lacklustre pieces of inspiration on “High and dry”

  1. Consultant K Says:

    Of course there is a place for golf umbrellas outside of the golf environment but the question is more to do with all umbrellas in an urban environment. They should only be used when the user is sure they are not going to hit other people in the eye.

    My personal issue is with small people keeping umberellas low over their head.

  2. Consultant C Says:

    Umbrella users are required to show exceptional spatial awareness - this can be tricky when the rain is beating down creating a great deal of noise and discomfort. The responsible umbrella user must show sympathy to fellow users of their immediate environment, allowing them to pass unhindered and, indeed, uninjured.

  3. Consultant C Says:

    Following a very wet journey this morning, I have firmed up my views regarding umbrellas. I propose a complete ban on umbrellas in urban environments. Until the ban is enforced I shall wield a large stick to ensure my safe and unhindered passage passed umbrella users.

    The various European smoking bans have set the precedent for making socially irresponsible behaviour illegal. Umbrella’s are just the next step. I envisage many more unpleasant aspects of todays’ society being deprecated.

  4. Consultant K Says:

    Ah. Now dear C may I ask for some tolerance please. If you go down this route you will be heading towards a fascist dictatorship and that is not so good. Are red headed boys to be forced to dye hair? Is driving at 45mph on the A9 with a caravan to be made illegal? Are people who don’t believe in global climate change to be stoned? Where does it stop. No ban on things like umbrellas but maybe people should start to consider others more. Maybe we can have a law on that?

  5. A good grouse Says:

    I agree with consultant C on this. If the public demands it, the public shall get it, and WE are the public. Indeed, I would like to see big umbrellas being treated the same way 4 x 4s are in cities - despised and should be banned.
    I wonder if there is an overlap between golf umbrella users are those who drive 4 x 4 in the town.
    Now, is it common sense to stick with redundant technology, which, while keeping head and shoulders dry, does not protect the lower torso, when there are superb performance fabrics available to enclose the whole torso? Further, these coats are useful in the wind, unlike umbrellas.

  6. Consultant K Says:

    How has this moved onto 4×4s? If ever there was an under understood rant then this is one. I personally drive a stupidly efficient small diesel car yet if I put my foot down will get half the mpg that I could achieve if I were to drive sensibly. The design of cars plays its part but it is the end user that plays a greater part - see kettle rant. Yes we should encourage efficient cars (and some of them are 4×4s) but let us just weight all the taxing/evilness onto the fuel rather than pick on a specific type of car (anyway what about campervans!).

  7. Consultant G Says:

    Ah yes, but no one regularly drives their camper van to the shops or to drop their spoilt brats of at school. It is all to do with circumstances.

  8. Consultant K Says:

    Ah I always forget you live in cliche world

  9. Consultant G Says:

    I live in the world I live in. I think 4 wheel drives are great, and have no grouse about them in their proper place and having frequently used them in appropriate situations. High fuel taxes are having an impact on those who rely on these vehicles (as in really need them) so blanket taxing of fuel may not be the way forward. This does digresses somewhat from the original question which I think C provoded an appropriate answer to.

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Kettle energy efficiency

A environmentally concerned consumer asks

To boil the same volume of water, which is more energy efficient: a 3000 Watt kettle or a 2000 Watt kettle? I’m sure in a perfect experiment they should be identical in power consumption, but we do not live in such circumstances.

8 lacklustre pieces of inspiration on “Kettle energy efficiency”

  1. A spod Says:

    It will not be the same because resistance increases with heat, so consumption to deliver the extra watts will increase.

  2. Consultant K Says:

    Am happy to announce that this is an area I am a complete and utter expert in! Infact I would say that there are very few folk who will know more about this than me.

    2kw vs 3kw - no measurable difference what so ever though we did find that 3kw suffered more from overboil than 2kw (see point below).

    The kettle design issues are as follows
    1. overboil. The amount of time it takes for the kettle to stop heating the water once the water is boiling
    2. heat loss. some of the heat from the element heats the air beneath the kettle rather than the water. This is very minor compared to point no1 but strangely you will find that more modern kettles have a plate element that sits on the bottom with one face not in contact with the water while older ones have a shaped element that sits in the water.

    In reality it is not a design thing but more an “in use” thing. The “in use” issues are as follows
    1. Boiling the correct volume. Seems obvious but this is the single most important consideration.
    2. Re-boiling. Many people will boil a kettle, walk away and then come back to make the cup of tea and re-boil the water to ensure it is “at the correct temp”. Very inefficient
    3. Fresh Water. Many users discard the kettles contents prior to starting a new boil - inefficient for obvious reasons.

    Other considerations should be the embodied energy of the kettle itself. Buy a simple plastic kettle if you want to keep this low (and also the cost down!). Avoid Chrome or metal kettles.

  3. Consultant K Says:

    And who ever spod is needs to do a bit of research! Yes resistance does increase inefficiency but it is the resistance of the material not the total resistance and the materials used have the same resistance be it a 2 or 3 or whatever KW kettle. Anyway, you can’t destroy energy so unless the inefficiency came out as light (and yes some muppet did invent a kettle that used light bulbs cause it looked pretty) then it has not been wasted as the inefficiency would come through as heat also! Go back to the physics class spod.

  4. A spod Says:

    Please see ‘I heard a rumour’ below - the presentation of inaccurate information and rumour is not helpful. Point proven.

  5. Alex Horne Says:

    I think Spod might be on a bit of a mental safari!

  6. Consultant K Says:

    Spod. Are you saying by being wrong you have proved a point? If only life was that simple!

  7. Consultant G Says:

    Welcome to Alex Horne - nice of you to drop by.

  8. A spod Says:

    I was trying to point out how easy it is to start a rumour. However, you scorched my rumour too fast for it to get started.

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I heard a rumour

From a would be mongerer

Is it common sense to start rumours that may have no basis in fact ? Surely this is not common sense, and it would be better to get facts right first. This would maintain credibility and cost the world less honk.

2 lacklustre pieces of inspiration on “I heard a rumour”

  1. Consultant K Says:

    Rumours are bad but sadly in this age of news before it happens the BBC/ITN and all the others have to make up the news before all the facts are in. This means that researchers will rely on single sources and not check things resulting in vague, inaccurate or just down right wrong news.

  2. Little Wing Says:

    I don’t think rumours typically cost much honk unless they are about some hollywood star on some kind of mental safari that will sue the arse out of you. I wouldn’t worry too much, I’m sure most researchers are basically honest folk.

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Natasha Kaplinsky’s height

A slightly bizarre query

I heard a rumour that the glamourous BBC newsreader Natasha Kaplinsky is 6′ 2″ tall. Is this true?

7 lacklustre pieces of inspiration on “Natasha Kaplinsky’s height”

  1. Consultant C Says:

    Yes, it seems that this is true. Rumour has it she is a bacon sniffer also.

  2. An observer Says:

    Is she really ? That would be bacon sniffer as in a tempted vegetarian, of whom there are a lot about. I once knew a bacon sniffer who was tempted by the smell of crispy duck.

  3. How High (I am a chinaman!) Says:

    She can’t be or we would loose her forehead from our screens

  4. Little Wing Says:

    Yes, I attended a very interesting lecture in Edinburgh in August this year in which this subject came up and aparently she is 6′2.

  5. Tyn Says:

    I think I may have attended the same lecture, she’s definately 6′2″ and she earns a lot of honk

  6. A good grouse Says:

    Is she a bacon sniffer ?

  7. V G Farmer Says:

    My wife works at the beeb and said she was in a lift with the sophisticated newsreader a few years back (before the move four channels down) and she was almost certainly the tallest one there (she said there were also three blokes, one of whom was definitely over six foot) so I’d say 6 foot 2 is about right.

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About us

We are experts in all matters of life. You may consult us on any topic. On some matters, that we consider trivial or uninteresting, we may provide a short, even terse response to your query; in others, where the fancy takes us, we may pontificate at length providing an extensive discussion of the issue from which we shall draw appropriate conclusions. The choice is ours, after all, we know best.

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