Archive for August, 2008
Libelous Label?
An electronics purchaser asks
Why has someone put a label onto the charger cable I have just bought that says nothing more than “this label must be removed before use”? The label would appear to serve no purpose. Have I missed something?
2 lacklustre pieces of inspiration on “Libelous Label?”
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Hydration issues
A prune asks
My life is a never ending battle with hydration. Drink tea, must drink water. Drink alcohol, must drink water. Don’t drink anything, must drink water. Eat food, must drink water. Drink water, urinate copiously.
Is there a scientific method whereby I can calculate the precise quantity of water I require, given my body mass and other food and liquid intakes, to reduce my number of visits to the toilet yet maintain optimal hydration?
One pearl of wisdom on “Hydration issues”
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Consultant K Says:
August 14th, 2008 at 9:19 amYes! reduce the amount of water you drink. If you are not eating an excess of salt the body should cope happily only about 1.5litres. If you are doing exercise, working in an air conditioned building or in a hot country that amount increases significantly.
Yellow piss is not a bad thing. Dark orange is, as is anything darker still! Clear pee is a sign that you are prob drinking an excess of water but this will not do you any harm other than having to go to the bathroom a lot. It could also be a sign that you have too little protein and vege in your diet but in reality this site is not the place for us to offer solutions. Instead take some of your own solution to the doctor to get it checked
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A little to Port
A prospective bon viveur asks
Having recently inherited some very fine port (or so I am told) and put it all into racks, I notice that one of the very fine bottles has a leak. Should I drink it, re-cork it or re-bottle it?
4 lacklustre pieces of inspiration on “A little to Port”
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Consultant C Says:
August 14th, 2008 at 4:25 amI once witnessed a very wise man who exclaimed “Port is poison!” before promptly falling off the table. The evidence was so compelling that I am afraid I have to recommend a fourth option.
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Consultant G Says:
August 14th, 2008 at 8:53 amProviding it is a minor leak (ie not emptying the bottle) it should not be a problem., The port shall not turn to vinegar, but may becoem a little ‘flat’ in taste. That said of course, have you got a very special occasion that you were saving it for ? If not, why not open it now and let your mates enjoy a wee (and i stress wee in the case of Consultant C) glass.
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The grouse Says:
August 14th, 2008 at 8:56 amWait until it is windy - any port in a storm !
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T Ipsy Says:
August 14th, 2008 at 9:31 amsurely that means you should be drinking the cheap stuff?
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Vague precision
A herbal type person wonders
On the side of my bottle of almond oil used for diluting aromatherapy oils it states that two drops of the aromatherapy oil should be diluted in a reasonable amount of almond oil. May I please be informed as to what reasonable is?
Tags: measurement
3 lacklustre pieces of inspiration on “Vague precision”
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August 13th, 2008 at 9:09 amPresumably you wish to smear the aromatic concoction all over your body? If so, I would suggest a ratio of between 1:5 and 1:10.
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August 13th, 2008 at 9:50 amActually no - just for heating in my oil burner. And your justification?
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August 13th, 2008 at 12:06 pmWell, it seems reasonable, obviously.
Now, oil burners - I’d suggest starting low (~1:10) and adjusting upwards if necessary. If you start too high the smell will be very potent and might cause unwanted results.
Steer clear of tangerine, unless you want to be up all night.
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The Glorious 12th and terrible sheep
A socially aware conservationist would like us to write a management plan for rural Scotland
Today is the Glorious 12th, the start of the Red Grouse shooting season. There is an enormous volume of guff in the media today about whether we should or shouldn’t be shooting grouse and the benefits or otherwise of grouse moor management.
Balls to all that! There is a bigger issue on the Scottish hills that is largely ignored, that of sheep. These less glamorous beasts don’t receive any high profile media attention yet ruin our landscape by grazing heather moorland so that it becomes grassland, and preventing any natural reforestation.
I want to rid our hills of sheep and let the natural habitat of moorland and forest return, but to do so would mean unemployment for a whole community of hill sheep farmers. I worry that this might have negative social and economic implications for fragile rural communities.
Can you advise of a method by which we can remove sheep from our hills, allowing our landscape to flourish, yet prevent rural depopulation and negative economic growth.
6 lacklustre pieces of inspiration on “The Glorious 12th and terrible sheep”
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August 12th, 2008 at 10:50 amYou could charge people to shoot the sheep - just dress it up as a historic sport and watch the cash flow in.
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August 12th, 2008 at 11:07 amJeeze - this is the type of ignorance that is causing damage to both the agricultural and conservation environment of the UK. You clearly have an opinion, but I would suggest that you read up on the topic before coming out with such rants. For a start, sheep numbers are decreasing in Scotland (http://www.sac.ac.uk/ruralpolicycentre/publs/researchreports/).
Put simply, removal of sheep from out hillsides would be disastrous. We need to maintain some appropriate grazing pressure on hills otherwise we will lose much of what we consider to be typical moorland and upland habitat, and also many of the species that rely upon it. The moorlands of the UK are extensive semi natural environments that have benefited from some degree of grazing management for centuries. Sudden removal would see a decline in the biodiversity that has become accustomed to these habitats. While you could argue that trees should replace sheepwalk, the chances are that it would not be native species. Instead, a lack of economic pressure for keeping the moors open may result in afforestation for tree crops. Further, under other conditions, the habitat has been so altered and requires management, that it would not return to useful habitats - restoration of Molinia dominated grasslands requires considerable effort and money.
And then there is the bandwagon issue of carbon and food. Hill raised sheep that are out all year have a much lower carbon rating than manicured sheep from lowland pastures. Thus, we should be encouraging the use of uplands, and hardy sheep, if we want to jump on the band wagon of carbon (which I also think is a short sighted and ignorant move).
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August 13th, 2008 at 8:18 amI agree whole heartedly with my esteemed colleague G.
And if you continue down the line of Carbon, the afforestation of the habitat is likely to release more carbon than it captures (due to water levels, peat formation and other fun things I would happily rant on for days)
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Sheep hater Says:
August 13th, 2008 at 9:11 amDoes “G” stand for Grumpy? I just don’t like sheep!
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August 13th, 2008 at 10:53 amG is simply the initial of my first name, as given to me by my parents. I would suggest that you are the grumpy one as I simply presented scientific fact, rather than personal opinion. Personally, I am rather partial to sheep, and had some last night, seasoned with rosemary, with basil seasoned mashed potatoes and lettuce (low carbon for the tatties, herbs and lettuce as they came from my garden).
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Freda Says:
November 6th, 2008 at 2:58 amIn the article a huge thank you all for the cause, a lot of people are using
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Where are my Edinburgh Fringe tickets?
An international festival go-er rants
I came to Edinburgh to see shows, and lots of ‘em. Now I’m here, I’m told the shows I’ve selected are sold out. Later on, in the bar, I hear from other like-minded hedonists, that they secured tickets for my preffered show and there was plenty room at the back! What is going on?
2 lacklustre pieces of inspiration on “Where are my Edinburgh Fringe tickets?”
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August 12th, 2008 at 8:30 amThis situation is not all bad, from the festival go-ers perspective at least.
The viable period of free ticket distribution will be extended because of this error; ordinarily, any free tickets supplied after the first week of the Fringe are not worth accepting, however, on this occasion you may acquire a free ticket worth having. Hang around the Pleasance court yard and see what presents itself to you.
To perhaps explain the cause of the problem, I recall seeing an geeky job advertised a while back to work on the Fringe ticketing database; the advertised salary was pitiful, so it’s quite possible that the old adage “You pay peanuts, you get monkeys” may apply.
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August 12th, 2008 at 8:40 amTo my mind, there’s no ticket problem at all and the whole drama has been created by uppity performers who are upset because no one has come to see their entirely mediocre show.
I heard one performer ranting on the radio - “Oh, we’re from London, and we’re wonderful, and we’d expect a full house” blah, blah, blah.
You’re not wonderful, your rubbish! Now go home and stop polluting our city with poor quality art.
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The Kingdom of Fife
A minor empire builder asks
Fife is a kingdom, albeit without a king. My good lady and I intend to move house shortly and are considering Fife as potential location. Do you think the good people of Fife would mind awfully if I declared myself the King of Fife? My lady would be Queen. We would be benevolent and kind, and would only chop the heads off neds that really annoyed us.
2 lacklustre pieces of inspiration on “The Kingdom of Fife”
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August 11th, 2008 at 2:14 pmHmm. There is a precedence for self declared royal status, that of Prince Michael of the Saltees. As there were no inhabitants of these islands, and the chap owned them, there was no one to object. You may not find such uncontested success in Fife.
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August 11th, 2008 at 6:56 pmBut why let it stop you trying!
August 19th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
Most probably.
August 27th, 2008 at 3:28 pm
Had you not read the label which said to remove the label before use you might have thought of adding one at a later date which could have ended in utter disaster. It was very insightful of them to imagine that one might ever think of adding a label to the cable don’t you think!