Its a pig of a virus

From a sick man:

Swine flue appears to have undergone a bizarre mutation,  and is now causing mass hysteria among journalists and broadcasters who have come into contact with the story. Thankfully the BBC has pointed out however that  there is little to suggest a public health emergency on the streets of Polmont” -  (other than the standard alcohol and cigarette related issues, and rising obesity we presume).

 

Having seen the news, I wonder if we should we don face masks and run up and down the streets in a panic? Should we start randomly slaughtering pigs (and pig farmers)? Should we pile Sombreros in the streets and burn them?

 

I am hoping you could provide some common sense advice on the matter ? This would be very useful, as it is not yet being provided. Your free service would make this much cheaper than sending out a leaflet to every house in the country (any common sense advice on that too?)

 

Useful links:

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/health/two-scottish-people-feeling-a-bit-run-down-200904281729/  and http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/health/who-will-be-the-first-arsehole-to-wear–a-facemask?-200904291731

Provide common sense...

A dodo. Well known for its common sense.

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Past sense