Archive for December, 2009

Crows and Collective Noun

Wondering if there is scaling for collective nouns

It is accepted that the collective noun for crows is a murder.  If it is a small group, is it just a traffic offence of crows?  or for large groups is it a massacre?

5 lacklustre pieces of inspiration on “Crows and Collective Noun”

  1. Consultant G Says:

    No, it is not. Go away and stop wasting our time. This has nothing to do with common sense. Why not count the things too, instead of this vague large number and small group stuff. And I bet they are not even crows - they are more likely to be rooks or jackdaws.

  2. Consultant C Says:

    Quite right G, crows hang out in pairs or on their own mostly. If they’re flocking, more than likely be another corvid.

  3. Counting Crows Says:

    So if crows don’t hang around together then why is there a collective noun for them?

  4. Consultant C Says:

    It was coined by a misguided fool.

  5. Consultant G Says:

    And has been perpetuated by similar.

Provide common sense...

Is everything on ebay stolen?

A concerned purchaser asks

I am considering purchasing an item on ebay. It is being sold by Cash Converters in Liverpool with minimal information concerning the provenance and history of the item. How likely is it to be stolen? If it is stolen do I have any recourse?

One pearl of wisdom on “Is everything on ebay stolen?”

  1. Consultant K Says:

    The honest answer is “fairly”. If it is a mobile phone or similar it is less likely due to coding and similar but for other electrical I would suggest fairly is a fair summary. I believe it is a fairly common way for thieves to be caught as cash converters, despite their name, do need a fair amount of proof of who you are before handing over the cold cash. Police then review what is held by CC and go knocking on doors.

Provide common sense...

Sober enough to Drink Drive

We have been asked by someone who wants to stay on the right side of the law

Having read an article on the bbc about mice and alcohol it suggests that drinking coffee will not sober me up but will instead make me think I am more sober and therefore coffee will not help me get on the roads safely.  Surely the fact it makes me feel safe enough to drive is enough, due to the placebo effect?

One pearl of wisdom on “Sober enough to Drink Drive”

  1. An idiot Says:

    Yes, of course it does. I do it all the time, and have only had 16 accidents in the past 3 years. Before that i had 19 in 3 years, so that really does prove the point.

Provide common sense...

Long Life Milk?

From someone who never throws things out (it would seem). 

I found this bottle of Cow and Gate Cream in the cupboard and it states quite clearly it will last indefinitely yet it clearly has not.  Who should I complain to?

One pearl of wisdom on “Long Life Milk?”

  1. Youse Bida'te Says:

    Application of common sense says you should just bin it (or sell it on e-bay) since it is so obviously ‘off’. There is no need to complain to anyone, unless you are a socially inadequate Daily Mail reader.

Provide common sense...

Hand Washing

From one of our scientific followers

I read in New Scientist recently that bacteria have been found that are “good bacteria”.  They highlight that these good bacteria are harmed by the use of antibacterial soap that we are all now using.  This is increasing skin alergies and other things and so are we going to have to rub Yakult on our hands or should we stop killing bacteria on our skin?

One pearl of wisdom on “Hand Washing”

  1. Consultant G Says:

    Interesting. The answer to this question illustrates how common sense is only visible with hind sight. What is now common sense today was less obvious many years ago when scientists were discovering that bacteria that caused many illnesses. Then, killing these bacteria was common sense. We have moved on, and common sense now suggests that we should not kill our skin flora, and similarly we should not keep every surface in our kitchen so clean as to be bacteria free. We need to good bacteria, and indeed the neutral bacteria to be there in order to keep healthy. Hygiene that allows us to be exposed to these is common sense. I will not suggest how to do this and stress that we (CSC) do not offer advice for fear that some idiot will follow it and the sue us.

    As for smearing yourself in yogurt or similar, what you get up to in the privacy of your own home is up to you (weirdo).

Provide common sense...

The “big” Question

Well given recent posts on things this question had to come through for the consultants.

God?  Common sense?

3 lacklustre pieces of inspiration on “The “big” Question”

  1. Consultant K Says:

    No

  2. A commoner Says:

    The Big Bang. The Pre-Big-Bang. Common sense? Or really quite intellectually challenging sense?

  3. Consultant G Says:

    Dear Commoner,

    How has the grazing been this year ?

Provide common sense...

A dodo. Well known for its common sense.

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We are experts in all matters of life. You may consult us on any topic. On some matters, that we consider trivial or uninteresting, we may provide a short, even terse response to your query; in others, where the fancy takes us, we may pontificate at length providing an extensive discussion of the issue from which we shall draw appropriate conclusions. The choice is ours, after all, we know best.

Past sense